Narcissism can destroy your spiritual life
It happens to the best of us: you start meditating, drinking your daily matcha, and suddenly catch yourself judging a friend who isn’t “doing the work.” Psychiatric researcher Dr. Gerald May defines this as spiritual narcissism, which is the unconscious use of spiritual practices to increase self-importance rather than decrease it. Instead of bringing us closer to our community, our wellness routines become a way to elevate ourselves and subtly diminish the people around us. Psychology professors Dr. Justin Tosi and Dr. Brandon Warmke refer to this as moral grandstanding, where people use spiritual language simply to promote their own social status and convince others of their absolute goodness.
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The YouTube Comment Reality
Online wellness spaces are currently facing a reckoning with this superiority complex. Viewers are flooding comment sections to speak out against creators who dismiss legitimate human struggles by labeling others as “unconscious” or “not on my level”. This performative spirituality masks deep insecurities by creating an illusion of holiness to avoid the uncomfortable realities of actual growth. As researcher and author Dr. Joe Dispenza points out, real change is deeply personal, but the human ego often tries to hijack this internal transformation to seek external validation and praise.
Coming Back Down to Earth
The goal of inner work is to become more deeply connected to the people around you, not floating above them in a bubble of judgment. Here are practical ways experts recommend keeping your ego in check:
- Observe your judgments of others quietly without reacting, which helps weaken the ego’s grip over time.
- Remember that true spirituality decreases self-importance; if a practice makes you feel superior, it is feeding your ego.
- Ground yourself in ordinary physical activities like taking a walk in your neighborhood or sharing a meal with friends.
- Forgive yourself for your mortal limitations and messy emotions instead of trying to perfectly transcend them.
What is one completely ordinary, non-spiritual activity you love to do when you need to just feel grounded and human?
How to Know If Spiritual Narcissism Is Affecting You
Spiritual narcissism rarely announces itself. It grows slowly and quietly inside spiritual communities, hidden beneath the language of growth, healing, and awakening. Psychologist Dr. Scott Barry Kaufman, who studies self-transcendence at Columbia University, notes that the ego does not disappear when someone begins a spiritual practice — it simply finds a new costume to wear. Instead of bragging about material achievements, the spiritually narcissistic person brags about their meditation streak, their energy sensitivity, or how deeply they have healed their trauma. The external form changes. The internal need for superiority stays exactly the same.
The Warning Signs to Watch For
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a leading expert on narcissism, some of the clearest signs of spiritual narcissism include feeling deeply offended when others do not acknowledge your spiritual progress, dismissing other people’s pain as a result of their low vibration or lack of awareness, and using spiritual concepts like karma or energy as tools to avoid taking responsibility for your own harmful behavior. If you find yourself feeling more enlightened than the people closest to you on a regular basis, that feeling itself is worth examining honestly.
The Path Back to Genuine Spiritual Growth
True spiritual development, as described by researcher and author Brené Brown, is rooted in vulnerability, not superiority. It asks you to become softer with yourself and with others, not harder. The antidote to spiritual narcissism is not abandoning your practice. It is bringing humility back into the center of it. That means celebrating progress quietly, holding compassion for people who are not where you are, and remembering that the most spiritually grounded people you will ever meet are usually the ones who never make you feel small for not keeping up. Real spiritual growth makes you more loving toward human imperfection — starting with your own.
If you’re working through patterns like this in your own life, our guide on navigating the dark night of the soul explores how genuine spiritual breakthroughs often begin with exactly this kind of honest self-examination.
If this post resonated with you, consider booking a free discovery call with Humberto to explore what genuine, grounded spiritual narcissism recovery and authentic coaching looks like for your unique path.